Part Two: A Year in the Life

One thing I’ve learned as a disabled person is to get a very clear picture of what I’ll be up against going into a new space – for parties, meetings, vacations, whatever the occasion. My first question is always, “Is it accessible?” Then if the answer is “yes,” I always get clarifying information, because one person’s ‘accessible’ is another person’s ‘challenging’ or another’s ‘impossible,’ because people aren’t accustomed to being aware of steps, handrails, rough ground, slopes…. One or two stair steps can make a difference between my being able to attend and fully participate or to be excluded - or something in between. If a place has one or two steps, I can probably get in with help, but I'll need to use my walker to get around, which is difficult and painful and excruciatingly slow. A couple of times this year I went to five-day events that I knew were inaccessible. I borrowed a manual wheelchair thinking that would ease the amount I'd have to be on my feet. How the hell do people use these things??? For one thing, they're impossible on carpeting; and another, how am I supposed to wheel myself and carry my COFFEE into the living room? Let alone my breakfast?? That idea was abandoned quickly and I resorted back to the walker, which at least has a flat surface I can put necessities on - like my ass if I need to sit for a minute. 

Kate Gray and Sarah Byrden, facilitators, signal the end of the session.

In April I took part in a writing retreat in the Columbia Gorge - five days of creative juiciness including a lot of stories and laughter that only a group of a dozen amazing, artistic women can conjure. When I signed up, of course I needed information about accessibility. One of the facilitators, the fabulous poet Kate Gray, not only got me complete information about the layout, she also made sure I got the master suite -which gave me plenty of room near where the gatherings took place - plus my own bathroom. I was able to immerse myself in writing  - something I haven't done for a long time. I was also able, with Kate's help, to come up with an idea for an ambitious writing project, which I'll write about later. By the end of the five days, I was feeling the pain and fatigue of being on my feet more than usual (after attempting the wheelchair), but the creative shot in the arm was good medicine for what ailed me.

Another five-day adventure, a trip to Manzanita (a wonderful little Oregon beach town) with Laurie's siblings, was similar in the accessibility challenges; again I tried the wheelchair. I don't know why I expected different results (insanity). But this part of the trip went a long way to compensate:

CJ, Liza, Richard, and Terri on the beach.

The Manzanita Visitor's Center loans out these beach chairs - no charge! - on a first come basis. We were able to use it two days, and my brother-in-law Richard was Chief Wheelchair Wrangler. I can't thank him enough for wheeling me up and down the beach - what a gift. And Manzanita for providing them. Donate generously if you have occasion to use them. I have loved the beach all my life, and it's been years since I've been able to be on it. We got down to the packed sand and traveled north a while, then I asked Richard to stop. I sat - just sat on the beach - and breathed and watched and listened and smelled. And wept.

Sometime during the summer I got an idea I just couldn't let go of - I need a solo retreat for a week or two. I have all but given up on traveling alone because of the challenge of loading and unloading all my STUFF (I do not travel light). But I have to do this for a couple of reasons: one is I need focused attention to work on the writing project I alluded to, and the other is the need to escape the chaos that's coming in the form of a remodel happening to the cottage soon (more on this later). And so began the search.

I spent hours over the course of a week or two looking on Airbnb and VRBO and Facebook for a place that met all my criteria:

• Accessible - entrance, shower, doors
• Ocean view - if I can't be on the beach, I need to see it
• Relatively private and quiet
• Allows dogs (though I've since decided to leave Liza at home)
• Within a two-hour drive

I finally found a place in Oceanside, one of my favorite small towns that is mostly built on a terraced hillside. The view was spectacular, the house large and lovely. I was thrilled. But then -- on our way home from Manzanita, Laurie and I took a detour to Oceanside and I realized how terribly unfriendly to a wheelchair and scooter user the town and roads are. Scooting anywhere around town would have been impossible. I had to let it go, which was difficult. And in reality, it wasn't the perfect house.

So back to the drawing board. Another few days on the interwebs with some close calls...then it occurred to me to look in the Puget Sound area, around Olympia, my old stomping grounds. We had a lovely home on the water there when I was a kid, and I still pine for that area. After a few more close calls, I found The Perfect Place. Ten acres of woods, 250 feet of waterfront, a home that is big and gorgeous with lots of windows and that is fully accessible! and affordable! It's also very close to Hunter Point where I spent my formative years (see map below and some photos of the house; also see post from last year, September 4th, for photos of Hunter Point). I'll be there in three weeks, spending twelve luscious days - I'm chuffed! The owner told me she'd arrange for someone to help me unload when I arrive, and Laurie will take the train to Olympia on my last weekend there and will help me load up. How cool is that??? 

Green circle is rental house; red arrow is Hunter Point where I lived years ago.

The house, inlet, and land:

Since I can't transport my wheelchair in my current car, I'll be using the scooter inside the house.

The yard and bulkhead at high tide.

Looking across the inlet.

I'm not sure I can get down ON the beach, but I can sit on the bulkhead and build a fire (if it's not too dry). If only I had a rowboat....

I have more to tell, including our trip to Seattle where all things accessible went right! But I've had to write this post twice - the first draft disappeared into the ether when I was close to finishing, so I'm ready to be done.  The next chapter should follow soon.