|September 2, 2005|
Of course, much of that changed over the last few years when I began to lose my balance and mobility and could no longer work in the yard, climb ladders, or even carry bags to and from the car. Since it didn’t happen overnight, the changes for us have been gradual, but there was a point sometime early this year when it clicked with us that this was not going to get better and we needed to get some changes in place.
This is where Laurie really shines. Where I deal in denial and procrastination, she plans ahead, researches extensively and puts ideas into action. She researched hand controls the day after I put the fear of Goddess into her and our friend Nan whilst driving. When I mentioned a few times that I couldn’t imagine climbing the stairs for another 12 months, let alone the 12 years we hope to be in this house, she went online to look at stair lifts and before long we had one installed. (This was when it really dawned on me that she wants to keep me around!) She encouraged me to get going with the disability paperwork, and when that came through, helped me research new cars, scooters and scooter lifts.
Of course, in addition to all the pragmatic details, there was (is) that huge emotional component to deal with. Our lives had changed irrevocably. We were both dealing with tremendous grief, occasional depression, me with chronic pain and Laurie walking the fine line between encouraging and nagging (which she does so well). Sometimes it feels like enough to drown us.
But here’s another thing I love about her that she does so well: self-care. She has done a superb job of gathering a support system for her specific issues as a (for lack of a better term) caregiver. She takes good care of her body and spirit with yoga, massage, meditation, good food (yes, chocolate is considered healthy). She gets to be the butch now in most circumstances! She’s gotten stronger and more capable of doing some things she never had to do before (e.g. packing the car for a trip).
Yes, this year has been filled with many trials for us. I have been blessed with a phenomenal partner who helps me navigate the rough waters with love and respect. I could not have landed in a better place.
I love you sweetie.